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Relationships need to be built

As a way of bringing the communication, listening, networking theme and the customer service theme together, I was thinking about the whole issue of business relationships.

As Andy(1) says "Connecting is not enough" and you have to build relationships in business. You don't necessarily have a business relationship with someone, just because there has been one transaction or sale. I've just refilled my ink cartridges - the person who served me in the shop wasn't there last time I went in and may or not be next time. However, I know the person who owns and runs the shop and, although I don't buy a great deal from him, we know each other - by name and some idea of what we do. That's building a relationship.

I've connected with lots of poeple on LinkedIn - the vast majority are people I already knew, or are connected to those who are and people I have met and we have then connected. There are a growing number with whom my only contact is via LinkedIn. We've participated in a few discussions or answered questions and shared thoughts and ideas and there are a couple who've been referred to me by someone else.

One of those in the last category was trying to get more from their LinkedIn profile and their contact suggesed asking me and I gave them a few tips. And then we connected. That's it. Today, I received a note asking for specific business referrals for the work they are pursuing - I don't know how many people it's gone to, maybe it's all of the contacts, maybe not. And I am feeling somewhat put out (far more than by the person who mucked up their diary and missed a meeting).

I don't feel I have enough of a relationship with the person to refer or recommend anything to them, or understand anywhere near enough about what they do and want to do, to be able to do so. Maybe they've had success doing this with other connections but, for me, relationships need to be built over time, not always a long time, and a number of interactions. Have I missed something? Is it just about my personal preferences? What do you think?

Find Sue on LinkedIn and at http://www.suecohen.co.uk/
Contact sue@suecohen.co.uk
Andy(1) is Andy Lopata; contact him at andy@andylopata.co.uk and he'll send you his newsletter.

Under promise and over deliver

One key element in many people's poor experiences with customer service is the inability of providers to deliver "on time". But what is "on time"? Usually, it is as agreed at the time of the order. When a mobile phone company says it will replace the broken handset (again!) or supply the next upgrade and can offer 3 time slots, you pick one and it arrives in that 4 hour slot ... every time, as far as I can recall. The fact that I may have liked a different time slot was not part of the discussion - that is the limit on their service.

When Tesco offers twice the difference if you are over-charged, that's what you get. Having had great service on the clothing desk last week, the electrical department was completely overwhelmed and the assistant had no idea how to process the refund for the CD I had been over-charged for.

So, what about promising? More on the car I'm afraid - Sunday afternoon saw me in the local Kwik fit with a flat tyre. I had, of course, not noticed it soon enough and the tyre was beyond repair. However, when I arrived, there was a lengthy queue with a promised wait of at least an hour, probably 1 1/4 hours. Go and buy the Sunday paper and settle down for the long haul. 45 minutes later, they were asking for my keys, followed by showing me the prices of the various tyres, together with the discounts for certain makes.

How much was him hedging his bets or positively over exaggerating, I don't know - but it works. All the staff I observed were helpful and gave time to their customers.

Find Sue on LinkedIn and at http://www.suecohen.co.uk//
Contact sue@suecohen.co.uk

Customer service

For those of you who've followed my tweets this week, the topic will come as no surprise.

The week started well - Monday evening's speed networking at the Business Club was good fun, as well as useful followed by Tuesday's "Delivering Excellent Service" Workshop; first in a series for a large professional services firm. Customer service isn't about rocket science, and the core theme of the day was communication - improving communication between levels of staff, departments and offices in order to provide better service to the clients. From a starting point where there are few complaints and issues and a desire to tweak where necessary, all 19 participants went away with individual actions as well as suggestions for the teams they work in.

Needless to say, at some point in the workshop, discussion turned to examples of good, excellent and poor service and I had no qualms in telling my stories. It's amazing that, no matter where or when I run workshops on a similar line, there are always more stories of poor service than good or excellent examples.

So, I've decided we need some awards. This week's prize for worst service goes to Evans Halshaw, Borehamwood (as it has for a number of weeks / months now). Poor service, absolutely no communication between themselves or to us, new manager who was supposed to solve everything now taken another 6 weeks to still not get it done.

Rather nicely, my faith was restored just yesterday at Tesco Extra in Borehamwood, clothing department; great service and a smile. It was only a pair of school trousers, somewhat less than the value of the car, but no quibbles.

If you'd like to help your staff turn what is likely to be good service into excellent service, get in touch .... And, if you have nominations for your worst customer service experience as well as nominations for great service, feel free to add them below.

Contact sue@suecohen.co.uk

Find Sue on LinkedIn and Twitter
and http://www.suecohen.co.uk/

Communicating with staff

Judging by the comments of many employees, many business managers and leaders find it difficult to communicate with their staff.

They tell them what is happening, sometimes face-to-face but increasingly via podcasts, intranet announcements and ezines. Some have discussion boards for responses and comments, not all appear to be confidential.

At first glance, getting large scale messages from top leaders all the way through an organisation in a consistent manner lends itself to all the media solutions we have available to us. So, why isn't it working? If you are a business leader, how do you know how the information you've distributed is received by your staff - you would ask those in the middle. How do the staff deal with the good and bad news - they discuss it with those in the middle.

Those in the middle be they called line managers, team leaders or middle managers act as a filter - how good is that filter in your organisation? Is it a real conduit to sharing and growth or a block to progress? Is it consistent?

If you would like to discuss ways of communicating through your business, no matter how small or large, build more cohesive and collaborative teams, contact Sue:
sue@suecohen.co.uk

Find me on LinkedIn and at http://www.suecohen.co.uk/
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Communicating with colleagues and staff

So, I’ve explored listening when you are networking, then when building relationships and followed by working with customers. But what about your colleagues and staff – how well do you listen to them? I have encountered many people who are great at networking, marketing, selling, building relationships, making referrals, managing clients ….. and absolutely not great at working with staff and colleagues. They appear to switch off all their skills, when they are not with the external contacts.

Having said that, most people aren’t that extreme – but many do not employ their skills consistently. If you ask them why they behave differently, they don’t always understand what they are doing and why it’s a problem – after all, “the customer is king” and “the customer is always right”.

Yes, we wouldn’t exist in any business or organisation if we didn’t have customers, or (for a public service, there needs to be someone to receive that service), yet there are very few roles which can deliver a service completely in isolation, so we need to work together. If it’s vital to listen and communicate well with customers, surely it is equally vital to listen and communicate well with staff and colleagues AND suppliers?

Find Sue on LinkedIn and at http://www.suecohen.co.uk/
Contact sue@suecohen.co.uk

Taking messages for colleagues

I was discussing business calls with my 18 year old son recently - rare though it might be to have a sensible discussion with a teenager. He had answered my office phone while I was on another call and taken a message - name, number, business :)

The discussion was around what he might have said if I hadn't been there and he suggested "I'll get her to phone you when she's back", which is something many receptionists, secretaries and well-meaning colleagues say. Except that he

• wouldn't necessarily know when I would be back
• what I would be doing on my return which would take priority
• what other reasons I may have for not calling straight back

I suggested he said that he would pass the message on when she returns and, if he knows, when he expects that to be - with a little leeway. So, it's fine to say that he's unsure if I'd be back before the end of the day or to ask when the caller would prefer a return call. I want to ensure that he does not (over)promise on my behalf. I reminded him that the line does have an answerphone which I check regularly and he does not have to answer the call.

On an obvious level, are your staff and colleagues skilled at taking messages? On a less obvious level, do they work as a team to support and help each other in such a way that this is just not an issue? Or does poor message-taking hide something else? Call Sue if you'd like to discuss ways of finding out what is really going on and what you can do to encourage the behaviours you want.

Find Sue on LinkedIn and at http://www.suecohen.co.uk/
Contact sue@suecohen.co.uk or on  07971 400653

Listening to your customers

If listening is core to communication and building relationships with new contacts, what about maintaining relationships with existing customers? No doubt we all deal with call centres for many of our services and have horror stories to tell of relayed phone conversations and repitition and hanging on ...

Yet, many people have DDI service and personal voicemail, in businesses of all sizes with, or without, reception and secretarial back up - how well do they use these facilities?

I called someone recently, with a senior role in a medium-sized organisation, using his DDI. His voicemail message was fine, except that it wasn't dated and I wanted to know if he was around that day, so I dialed 0 for reception and asked if he was in. She just put me straight back through to his line and voicemail!

Some people set their voicemail message daily or weekly and others don't, with a promise to call back "as soon as I can" or "within three hours" maybe "the next working day". And many people have a system for checking each others' messages and either passing them on or placing a holding call.

Needless to say "as soon as I can" or "within three hours" become meaningless very quickly, when they are not returned. If your customers struggle to get through to you when they need to, for whatever reason, what will stop them going elsewhere? And, if you answer the phone for others, as a colleague or a receptionist, listen carefully to the caller and what they want, before just putting them through.

If you would like independent views on your telephone answering service or help building the communications culture you want, call us.

Find Sue on LinkedIn and at http://www.suecohen.co.uk/
Contact sue@suecohen.co.uk or on 07971 400653

Communication is more than listening

Communication is also about how you put your own message across for others to listen to. Start with the words and think carefully about the message you want to get across, then the voice, then the body language.

If you need to give your opinion, then make it clear for example use “I”, not “we”, unless you are truly speaking for a group.

When you need to give a serious message or bad news, keep your face fairly static, your tone even and firm and your gestures to a minimum. Then, with a positive message, be more animated and cheerful.

It sounds straightforward written like that, but it takes development. These skills can be developed with practice and training. Contact Sue for ideas on developing your communication skills.


Find Sue on LinkedIn and at http://www.suecohen.co.uk/
Contact sue@suecohen.co.uk

Listening on screen / paper

And that’s where we have a problem. How many times have you read an email / online posting / letter and thought “I don’t like the tone of that” or similar?

 I thought vocal tone had to be heard … What happens to your message when you rely on the written word instead of a phone-call or a meeting?

Try this exercise. Read the following statement out loud, with the emphasis on a different word each time and then decide what it really means.

I didn’t say he’d stolen the cash.


Listening is a key part of communication skills which can be developed with practice and training. Contact Sue for ideas on developing communication skills.


For more on the exercise, click here


Find Sue on LinkedIn and at http://www.suecohen.co.uk/
Contact sue@suecohen.co.uk

Listening on the telephone

I met someone recently who does a lot of telephone research and many people have had first interviews on the phone. So, how do you listen well when you can’t see the person? Some people think it should be easier to concentrate on just one channel of communication, without being distracted.

Unfortunately, many people don’t concentrate better when they are on the phone – they distract themselves by looking at their emails, or looking around them. As an alternative, make notes during the conversation, even if you don’t think you will need to keep them. And we are used to interacting with people when we see them and use the visual information to make our decisions (whether this is conscious or not).

Talk, and gesture, normally – they can’t see you, but the effect translates into your voice. Observe others on the phone and pay attention to how they sound when they sit, hunched over their desks, eyes on their pc compared to the ones sitting up, making notes and smiling and nodding throughout.

Listening is a skill – it can be developed with practice and training. Contact Sue for ideas on developing your listening skills.

Find Sue on LinkedIn and at http://www.suecohen.co.uk/
Contact sue@suecohen.co.uk

Listening - THE way to build relationships

Oft quoted is the phrase “two ears, one mouth, use in those proportions”. If you want to demonstrate you are really listening, then I would aim for something closer to 80:20. Ask a question and ……… pause. If you’ve just met them, then ask what they do and follow-up to show you are really paying attention. If most people are in the same position, they will flip the question back to you in a fairly short space of time and ask you.



Listening is an activity, not a spectator sport.

Click here for tips on Active Listening



Find Sue on LinkedIn and at http://www.suecohen.co.uk/
Contact sue@suecohen.co.uk